is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
