She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
