Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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