i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
