So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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