Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Boobs speak an international language.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
