i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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