Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
