I feel great
I just peed on a car
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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