Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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