Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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