the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
