If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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