Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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