"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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