I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
