I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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