she looked like the before picture.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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