I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
