That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
