I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
