ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
