Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She swung at the pinata with crutches
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
