I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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