Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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