is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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