party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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