the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
