Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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