I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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