I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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