He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
