you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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