He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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