sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i dont even know how to be here
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
