kristin has been a bad kristin
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
