whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize