My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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