is your mom at the bar?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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