We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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