I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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