So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
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2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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