Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
