The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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