I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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