So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
