just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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