Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize