Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is classic penis vs brain.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
