apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
