Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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