the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
