I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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