we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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