Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
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