I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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