if you like me you must not know who I am
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize