its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
