I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??