He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
