when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
