k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
