I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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