I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
