Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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