Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
