i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize