you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This is my gift to your gina
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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