maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
