your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
