There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
